Sunday, January 17, 2010
00001 post in 02010
so... two weeks after i return to bahrain and im still zoning like a zombie...
just going with the flow, waiting for each day to pass so i can go back to sleep.
nothing interesting to say in the office. and i also went back to snoozing my alarm, maybe because i lost interest in cosmetics after my '10-days of no makeup' drama in manila. or maybe because i don't have new stuff... haha, whatever... i have bought my most delayed and most hindered nyx lip gloss in ebay. and bare escentuals medium tan. im going to try a darker shade just for a change.
also, the most glorious moment in mommy-jared relationship happened when i left. jared was brought to my sister's house and as my mother let him knock on the door, he shouted 'mom'.
i miss him, but not in the same way that i missed him before my vacation.
in a way, before i left, i was missing the baby that i took care of. the one i knew and the one who thought i was his world. when i saw last december that he survived without me, that he will run to anybody but me, that he calls to them and not me, i was rejected inside. and the whole time i was there i was seeing a baby who is someone i don't know. with different likes and dislikes, different moods, who walks and talks (actually, he babbles) and i did not have plans to make him like me. coz what will happen when i leave?
so i just let the days pass by and i was content to watch him in his daily joys of swimming in the floor (or the plaza's stage), sleeping with dirty feet and drinking milk that i tried to change to a better one and ended throwing his stomach up. i was like an outsider. and i accepted that.
when i walk to the office or back to my house i avoid the humans with strollers. i was half-crazy even in my own standard of craziness.
and until now, i still don't know how to make time pass quicker. or what to do to make me interested in my surroundings. when i go back home i spend 90% of my time sleeping. and my husband doesn't complain, it was our inside joke that his wife is his computer and i'm just the mistress...
10 minutes before i leave the office... now what am i going to do with my night...?