eyes on the goal

2 days to go and i have to finalize my decision if i will stay or not.

my sister said if only she's sure that we wont end up as a broken family then she'll vote for me to go home. yes, to be realistic, men really can't be left alone.

so to stop this confusion, i have printed these layouts i made since last year to emphasize the reason why i need to stay:

the first one is the ground floor, with a space for a car.  yes, kasama sa dream ang car, hehe!

obviously i will have some tenants in the ground and second floor, so kasama rin sila sa pangarap ko...

and the only floor that i added colors to is our house, on the third floor.  i placed a crib for a girl coz i sometimes wish the next one would be a boy, then our third will be a girl.

and of course it wouldn't be a complete manila house if it doesn't have a rooftop right? so that's on the 4th floor.



i am planning to save for this during my last two years here in bahrain.  hopefully when jared is 3 years old we can settle in.

hurry up 2 years!!!

30 minutes

i woke up at 7:41 am.

and reached the office at 8:12.

who could top that?!?

i can't believe it either! i did take a shower, hello!?!  and managed everything i usually do in the morning except eat.

as i always say, if im late, then im late.  better to do everything i need to do, then...

anyways it's just a blessing that my office is walking distance.


so, as its getting colder and colder, i am getting happier becoz it means december is getting nearer!

my fear right now is what if i liked staying in manila?  when i saw jared in carmen's place i almost wanted to go home.

but the reason that hit me is that if i stay, i could be able to have a better home, and i would be able to stay home for a while.  and i definitely would like to stay home with jared for a while.  he'd be three at that time, so i would also be able to buy him good toys.

my superior (we call him 'the other one'), as he's not really my boss so we'll call him my superior to be more appropriate, asked me how can i do it.  he has a newborn baby, too and he said just staying in the office makes him miss his baby, so how much more me?

i've been asked that question, by others and by myself, so it was as simple at it was as hurtful: it's either his happiness or mine, so it's not really a choice at all.

my sister disagrees.

early winter, happy shopper.

i thought winter would be late.  last year it was almost december when we felt the cold, but its still october and already i am having cold showers in the morning.

and four more cold showers in the morning, since our heater is scheduled to be fixed on friday.  i hate cold water.

my sister gave me lo-res videos of jared yesterday.  although very poor quality, i can see jared's face and smile and he plays and walks and here i am again dreaming of a normal manila day.

i will throw a fit if they don't allow me to go home on christmas!

anyways maricel's back from her tour in india, but i haven't seen her pictures yet.  i am still finalizing the november magazine and she was still fixing her messy table ;)

the jackets i have ordered from ebay: the white, the black with star zipper, the yellow sweater, the pink sweater, the green checkered and the shawls has arrived!  hurray for winter!

i was thinking how funny it would be if i have all these sweaters and it would turn up that winter would be short.. haha!

although, i was impressed by the quality of these sweaters, i expected them to be thin and light but they're not!  i definitely saved that seller from hongkong!

and my new mineral veil.  it wasn't that huge, but the contents are overwhelming!  (2g vs 9g)

also, biju's bracelet, irish's sister's costume (a playing card costume) and maricel's charger came, too!

it is online shopper's day today!!!

and to wrap up this happy post, these are the nail polishes i did for the past two weeks:

pink and yellow

pink and blue hearts

earth day

and my favorite: dark violet with silver (again!)

finally

at last, this week's over.  i never thought a week could last that long.

my assistant is proving herself very useful, aside from preparing the backgrounds to my artworks, she is also doing the time-consuming album for the chocolate shop.  i have never been this relieved even though i had a lot of pending jobs.  i think ill hire her permanently.

maricel was suppose to come back from india today.  i hope she has lots of things to give me :) and i hope she won't be bothered by the mess i left at her table.

i am still contemplating about my next contract.  i know i cannot leave bambi here alone, but the temptation of philippine sunshine just won't let me off.  i keep thinking about it.

if i am walking to work at 4 i'd be thinking 'i'd rather walk with jared in the court in the afternoons'...

if im staring at the sky at 8pm id be thinking of manila nights full of stars and excitement...


i am still so confused.  if only i'd find a way to make another two years here more bearable.

day 5 without maricel and irish

i almost didn't want to go to work.  it was so quiet and uninteresting in the office, and most of the time, my boss' mood sucks.

i get all the blame of course, although i don't understand why he told me to make luke's stay in his hotel a comfortable one and in case he complains to madam that he had nothing to eat or his ac was not working, i would be in trouble.  i think that's unreasonable.

plus my head aches.  i tried to make it go away last night with endorphins but this morning when i was about to tell bambi i was going he accidentally hit my nose with his head and it still hurts until now.

oh, and i deleted 5000+ spam in our server so it added stress to my eyes.  stupid junk mails.

i thought it would be a swift week but without the craziness of my two friends i was totally wrong.  i didn't think that even i was sometimes irritated and bored by those two wackos i would be missing them.

and add to the fact that my assistant is so quiet...

i wanna go home.

tips on ebay

last week i have purchased the most quantity i have in a period of one month from ebay.  even before bambi gave me his card i was already purchasing (and planning to pay for it myself) winter tops and scarves, which, even if i pool all the amount i wouldn't have been able to buy half of that quantity here in Bahrain.

so to cap it up, these are the stuff ive been waiting to arrive:

mineral veil by bare escentuals, a totally must-have every morning.  i love it so much thats why i ran out of it before i even ran out of b.e. foundation.

white blazer.  i love the buttons!

black puffed up jacket. excited sa winter :)

pink sweater, cuteness...

green overall.  im still clueless about this, and slightly regretful...

another black jacket

a yellow sweater (inside)

stretchy jeans

and shawls.

in summary, as far as experience goes, here are some tips in bidding in ebay.  and unless you don't care about your stars or your feedbacks, you might want to listen:

• read all the descriptions carefully.  some sellers put the picture of a cellphone, but they may be selling a defective one, or just parts.  in clothes you have to pay attention to the size and actual color.  i bought a heated curler before and it wasn't stated that it was 110, so it pretty much smoked up our room when i plugged it.  it was one of my earliest buys, and my stupidest.  it cost me 25 dinars in shipping, but just 9 dollars for the actual item.

• speaking of shipping, always always keep note of the international shipping fee.  if you're not in america then you don't qualify for a US Free Shipping offer.

• be careful in putting your highest bid.  you cannot retract or cancel it, and once you win, you might have to pay for it otherwise you'll be banned and your feedbacks will be horrible.  and also keep in mind (as experience reminds me) that when bidding in other country's ebay (hongkong for example) that their currency is not the same as US Dollars.

• if you really have no money, don't be stupid and bid than your highest budget.  you might find the same item from another seller for a cheaper price, if you're just willing to wait.  try to search for the same item first before bidding.

• don't file a complain unless it has been more than a month before your item arrives.  it might have been delayed from customs or something. a seller most probably wouldn't want a negative feedback and will try to help you find your item, just communicate nicely.

• and last but not the least, don't put a feedback from a seller until you receive your item.  only once you received it and inspected it, then put your most honest response, coz it will help the seller learn from his mistakes (if he did one) and encourage him if he did a good job.


that's it, i will add more once i remember the mental notes i had before.

so now, im back to waiting for my stuff...

don't let me interview you

as i was saying in my previous posts, we have posted an ad for my assistant last week, and so far, i interviewed only 5 who were suitable for the job.

let me tell you, if i was the one who will interview you, i was probably as nerve-wracked as you are.  i spoke too fast, i said the hands-on letter-writing and design-making on the spot, and i probably didn't sound convincing when i said 'no, that's higher than the salary we had in mind'.

if they were a blogger like me, they probably wrote on their blogs what a fast talker i was.  or how my bag, my laptop, my nails, and my hairclip were all in shades of pink. or how i didn't make eye contact most of the time.

i can't say i was lame, but i wasn't too stiff either.  i really wanted to sound distant, because if i become too close, i'd probably lose the chance to get cranky in the future.  and i get an awful lot of cranky when im pressured.

unfortunately it is really in my system to be chikadora when i like a person.  and i like most of them.  the problem with liking them, as in the case of irish, is that i can't lecture them without sacrificing the friendship.  this is all new to me.  i don't know how to handle a business relationship and still be friends.

well, we'll find out soon won't we?  i hired the fresh-graduate (easy to order around) who is younger than my brother yves but she passed the tests i gave.  and she lives just near me.  that means no transportation allowance hehe.

in the meantime i am patiently waiting for all the stuff i bought from ebay, mostly winter tops, because jackets here costs twice than what i would buy in the philippines.  bambi gave me his credit card last week.  i don't know why he's in a good mood but he said i could use it in ebay.  hooray!

i have no doubt na me sira ako sa utak

while malling with bambi last friday, there was a baby crying on a stroller, and his yaya was trying to comfort him, and after a while carried him...

and there i was, stopping myself from asking her to let me comfort the baby instead.

what a retard i have become.   bambi told me i was crazy.  not even close.

i just miss my baby so much.  i want to tickle him, teach him how to talk, feed him, give his vitamins, take him to the park, stop him from crying, all those stuff that mothers take for granted, and i am aching so much to do.

i am aching so much to do...

promotion ba ito?!?

dahil sa super sky-high na trabaho ko, sinabi ko na talaga sa boss ko na hindi ko kayang i-accommodate lahat sila - ang office jobs, mega-sali pa ang isa naming boss, at kina-career din ng mga anak ni mumu ang pagbibigay ng job orders, pati na rin ng asawa nya, na pakiramdam ata e sitting pretty lang ako sa office para magcommand ng urgent artworks.  pati na rin ng pamangkin nya.  at asawa ng anak nya.  at yung kaibigan din nyang nagpapagawa ng mall.

superhuman ata ang tingin nya sakin...

anyways, matanggal na kung matanggal, dahil sure naman ako na hindi katamaran ang reason kung bakit sinabi ko sa kanya na kailangan mo kong bigyan ng solusyon sa over-acting nilang pag-uutos, super super happy naman ako sa kinalabasan!

imagine, magkakaron na ko ng assistant??!?

ni hindi ko nga pinangarap na magkaron ng office job e (actually, kung ako ang masusunod e magtatrabaho na lang ako sa mall ahaha!!!) tapos magha-hire na ko ng assistant!  ibang level na pala ko ngayon!  (lmao)

at sakin lang sya kukuha ng orders, para macontrol ko pa rin ang workflow ko.  aym super super happy today!!!

super happy! pati designs invites ni irish napaganda ko, actually kahit isiningit ko lang sya sa magazine namin na supposed to be narelease na first week ng october... bah, sorry sila andami nilang binibigay sakin e iisa lang ang katawan ko no... mga 15 minutes lang namang design yan e...

itech, ang taray ng invites di ba?

sa super excited namin nagbid na kami sa ebay mga costumes!  oo, costume party -slash- birthday party ang drama ni irish...

eto sa kanya:

eto kay ate maricel:

at eto sakin (minus the skirt, baka di ako payagan ni husband :))

andanda di ba!??!!

ewan ko kung sasali si bambi pero if ever, ang gusto nya siguro gladiator... hmm..

at syempre kung kasama ko si jared eto naman ang sa kanya:

haha!  cute cute!!!

*update*  nagustuhan daw ng klieyente ni mumu (tawag ko sa boss ko) ang designs ng mall yehey!!!  imagine, kahit na chinacharing lang nya si mumu, at least napasaya ko sya dahil di sya nadisappoint sa sinubmit ko ahaha!!!

para nakong nakadrugs sa super saya ko!

my pearl mall

phew.  talk about overtime!  as if me overtime pay ako...

while my boss wanted to have that chinese mall, i thought about a second layout and this pearl mall is the only one that gave me enough interest to continue working until 3 in the morning.  of course it includes tv and ice cream breaks but still...

i haven't had slept-til-you-wake friday for the longest time that i can remember, i know tomorrow won't be, since jared and his lola will probably be online around 7-8 am here.

im so excited to see him!  i saw his videos from kuya dong and he was walking (and dancing!) and he looks like a real little boy now... sigh *homesick*







although i wanted to go home for good, i have decided, for the time being, that saving would be the most practical way.  i might change my mind once i go for vacation on december, though!

me, the mall engineer

haha!  as if!

my boss is still persistent to the fact that i can design a mall, even if the only architectural design i have given him is the copy of his hotel which i did in illustrator.

so the whole morning i didn't do anything except the chinese-inspired mall just so i could finish it and get
back to my original job- surfing the net!  haha, joke...

last night when he insisted on me doing the mall at home because i was so busy in the office i just collapsed on the chair.  it was a busy day yesterday and i was really planning on testing my bubble bath!  so, i didn't do both - i just colored my nails!

this is the new nail polish that i bought for 200 fils hehe!  i love the dark bluish-purple shade!

and this was my nail polish yesterday:


purple base with yellow konad















which has been changed to this today:

purple base with silver and yellow drops (the silver was halved, as inspired by irish, to make it look like a flower).

i kept staring at my nails all day!  it actually made me happy in spite of a crazy day.

bum bum bum

i am super super super pagod na sa trabaho ko.

especially today.  pagawain daw ba ko ng mall?  i can't really understand my boss' excitement.  i don't really, in all possible ways, believe that our design will be accepted but still, he asks twice today if i did it yet.

hadn't he seen the office today?  super nawalan na nga ako ng pasensya kay ghulam dahil lang tumatambay sya sa table ko dahil grabe na talaga ang workload.  parang di ko na kaya.  di ko na nga nakikita yung brown na table ko sa dami ng gawain eh.

me nagcheck pa sa office kanina kaya tensed na tensed kami.

plus yung asawa nya at dalawang anak nagdadagdag pa ng trabaho.  on top of my office duties na dinadagdagan din ni tyan at ni tikbalang (code names, obviously)... hay!

minsan iniisip ko, hindi na worth.  pinagpapalit ko yung time na imbes na iniispend ko sa anak ko, tapos ganito naman.  super super okray...

minsan gusto ko na lang umuwi at alagaan ang anak ko.  pero hindi naman pwede.  dapat maging practical ngayon.  kahit kaya ni francis financially, hindi nya kaya mag isa dito emotionally.  at least si jared masaya naman sa mga lola at tita nya.

 nakakalungkot nga lang minsan ang status ng isang empleyado.  under palagi sa whim ng amo.

late na naman ako matutulog.  ako pa naman di bale nang di makakain basta makatulog lang.

sige na nga!  susubukan ko na maging engineer.  hmf!

hello kitty & studs!

i was waiting for my hello kitty wallet for 28 days since i paid it in ebay.  usually it just takes 2 weeks to send a parcel from hongkong, coz i bought my laptop bag, 2 hair curlers and 3 necklaces on different occasions and i didn't have to wait long for them to arrive.

so every morning for the past two weeks, i ask our sales supervisor, who always checks our PO Box if something came for me.  but this morning before i left i packed my cards and thought that maybe my parcel will come today.

and yipee!  it made my day when they told me i have mail!

who wouldn't be excited by this?

ang bilis ko maglipat hehe!

gamit na gamit na sya agad kase this afternoon maricel, irish and i ate outside coz we had a free bd5 voucher from the company, sort of an eid bonus less cash.. our self-indulgent operations director decided to give us company vouchers instead of cash.  what a dork.

then we went to dasman trading, the japanese shop here with all sorts of items worth 650 fils and i bought some stud stickers and placed them on my bag, which i think, gave it life.

it was sort of a granny bag but i use it everyday coz my boss gave it to me.  but look at it now:

i love the butterfly:

i had some extra so i designed my shades:

too bad i already designed my mobile

these trinkets came from burgundy, i snuck them out shhhh!


im all smiles all day!  what made you happy today?

weekend

we usually spend our weekends sleeping til noon, right?

well, irish and i surely haven't done that in the past four weeks ever since we joined the photography workshop from the filipino club.

i could say it's worth it, but im pretty disappointed coz our last meeting we didn't actually have a workshop.  we just submitted our works and discussed some lectures and paid for our graduation this friday.

bummer.

i could be proud of my photography skills, but i didn't feel like im on another level.  it's just like knowing some stuff in your camera that you didn't know before.  no special skills added, no special tips and tricks given.

anyways, it would still be helpful to have that certificate.

these are some shots that i wouldn't have done if i didn't join the workshop:

i shot those while i was at burgundy, my boss' chocolate shop...


and this i took while on our way to the car after the workshop:

me and irish

bahrain world trade centre at the back. 

want.more.chocolates.

my boss gave me one box of their precious chocolates ($47/kilo, or 27pcs) this week and seriously, im having sore throat from nibbling these, but i cannot stop.  i am addicted :)

all for me!  okay, i gave maricel and irish 2 pieces each... im not that selfish...

chocoholic. and my lips today are no. 3 from my 22k lip palette.

no. 3 closeup... i love that pink shade!

full face.







anyways... during our 3-hour break yesterday i curled my hair a little:

i am that dork who used flash in front of the mirror

and realized that this angle is better...




what else did i realize this week?

• that my new blush smells soooo good.

• that you should always charge your camera.  for the second time i went to our workshop with a dead battery (such a loser!)

• that i have cravings before my period.  super kain.  and after my period i always lose my appetite.  kahit gutom na ko ayoko namang kumain.  i just eat when i think of jared and the future, and i don't want to be sick in the future.

• that bambi's ipod is a retard.  after i fixed it last week it started having tantrums again.  and that stupid loser face shows up in the screen:

• that the more you sleep, the more you'll feel sleepy.  seriously.

• and that i miss my son sooooooooo much... he's walking now, take a look:

jared with bambi's mother